I've just written to the BBC complaining about their decision not to broadcast the Gaza aid appeal. I'm intrested to see what their reply will be. Here's my letter.
Dear BBC,
I am disgusted with you. Horrendously so. You are funded by us - the British public - and for years you have consistently abused your position. You are paid for so that you do not have to bow to the scum lords of advertising executives, so you can reach higher intellectual plains and be a beacon of light to other broadcasters, yet you continue to reject this and behave like a poor mans version of ITV.
I hope that last sentence cuts you deeply, as surely there can be no worst insult.
You waste the tax payers money on 'celebrities' dancing, you cheat your audiences with numerous phone line scams, you even influence the vote and cheat the public when they cede to your low brow brain pulping charlatan of a light entertainment programme. Then you make it front page news and constantly refer to it across your network of local radio stations for what felt like an age only comparable to the chart topping reign of 'I will always love you' and the sport coverage you now have is below the standards and range of channel 5 (exactly). All this within the past 12 months, and without mentioning the dreaded words 'misguided', 'granddaughter', 'radio 2' and Brand. But your most recent shenanagan takes not only the biscuit, but the jar, the refill pack of digestives next to it and the whole blasted Tesco metro shelf of tea time treats.
How dare you refuse to air the Gaza disaster advert? How dare you hide behind the smoke screen of 'impartiality'? Who or what strings have been pulled in order for you to exhibit the most yellow belly since Homer Simpson wore an ill fitting t shirt?
You disgust me, you have made yourself many enemies by your baffling actions and to be honest, you have lent credence to the view held by some lunatics that the media is controlled by a faceless bunch of Zionists. You ran the Darfur appeal, where was this blessed impartiality then? Or are there no Sudanese within your ranks to take umbrage?
So, well done BBC, you have made the Arab world your enemy, you have made people more suspicious of the Jews, and not managed to remain impartial one bit. A truely magnificent achivement, one that's all paid for by us.
Brilliant.