The BNP. It’s too easy to mock the politically silly and culturally confused. It’s also great fun. I decided to take them seriously for a moment and have a flick through their website.

I used the work PC of course, who wants those non chocolate chip internet cookies on their PC?

The first thing I tucked into was their TEN REASONS TO VOTE BNP. Come on, who thought they would be able to make it to ten? Credit where it’s due though, they managed to stretch ‘darkies cause crime and asylum seekers are stealing our money/women/houses/jobs (delete as appropriate)’ across the whole gamut.

Now obviously the BNP’s chief tactic is fear. Fear of the foreign and non Daz doorstep Aryan, but to leave it at that actually does them a disservice. For instance...

‘Vote BNP and government money pours into your area in order to ensure that you do not vote BNP again in the future.’

Translation: vote for us and you will shit the Government up enough to spend more in your borough. Is that not attempting to get the voters to back a rudimentary protection racket? Next?

‘For the BNP, putting local people first is the entire basis of our existence.’

Is there a need for a translation for this one? One thing I will say is if they’re putting local people first in areas like Tower Hamlets and Dagenham, they certainly ain’t helping whitey. I had an Indian friend tell me she moved out of Tower Hamlets because there were ‘too many Indians’.

I couldn’t argue with her, I was too busy laughing at the statement.

‘Once a BNP councillor is elected…police in your area start to arrest ethnic criminals for a change instead of treating them with kid gloves out of fear of being called ’racist’.’

If racial profiling and ‘random’ stop and searches are kid gloves then sod the adult mittens. This is one of the most incredible statements ever. The Macpherson report found the Met to be INSTITUIONALLY RACIST, if the BNP want the police to change their criminal targets; most of their voting demographic will be locked up by tea time.

It could be debated this wouldn’t be such a bad thing...

‘Once an area has become known as an area with a BNP presence and support, then ethnic crime gangs do not move into those areas. This means that you and your families are less likely to be the victims of immigrant crime, your house insurance costs will fall, and local families can stay in an area instead of it being turned into an ethnic ghetto.’

An ethnic ghetto. First of all, nice Nazi imagery there but more importantly, removing all the ‘colour’ from an area would essentially leave you with an ethnic ghetto, just that the ethnicity is white. I would also like to see how the house insurance costs falling claim can be backed up. Is it a case of...

B (total crime minus ethnic arrests this year) - P (total crime minus ethnic arrests last year) = X x Y (total money saved from criminal damage, court costs, counselling and hospital bills Divided by total crimes) divided by Z (the amount of policy holders in area) = insurance reduction per household?

Here’s the website to check out their 10 reasons http://bnp.org.uk/2008/04/ten-reasons-to-vote-bnp/

So I started looking around their site for further juicy nuggets, that’s when I found the money shot, what this particular raider of this particular lost ark was looking for: The immigration policy. I almost started a sweepstake at work to see how many words more than the four in ‘send the buggers back’ would be used. Unsurprisingly the main feature is the immediate end to further immigration...

‘and the introduction of a system of voluntary resettlement whereby those immigrants who are legally here will be afforded the opportunity to return to their lands of ethnic origin assisted by a generous financial incentives both for individuals and for the countries in question.’

Asylum seekers by their very name are seeking asylum from their homelands. I doubt a voluntary resettlement scheme would work, unless backed up by armies of Baz’s Daz’s and Gaz’s waving a grand in one hand and Molotov cocktails in the other, which would be one of the better case scenarios if the scheme came to be. Calling this ‘voluntary resettlement’ is like calling Auschwitz a ‘holiday camp’.

Without going into detail of the rest of their policies (we don’t want to give them too much publicity now) I found both fear and interest in the fact that the BNP promote organic farming and self sufficiency on a national level and that one of the election pledges is to install solar power into each council owned building. This is where the danger lies, by juxtaposing sensible policies with the nonsense of political Paki bashing they become more appealing and legitimate to marginalised white voters (of which there are many). On several issues they seem to speak more sense than the three main political parties, they have moved into non race based areas and offer an option which the centralised middle England hunting majority do not. People will attach themselves to the closest voice to their own and forgive the few pieces where it doesn’t match up. To truly tackle and defeat the BNP, we need to stop the ridiculing and begin taking them seriously because they are like a clown with a gun, laughable yet dangerous.