So, Britain has gone Molesting Jack’s son crazy. According to latest reports, more people have attempted to buy MJ tickets than there are people on this earth. He was the most talented person in the world, his record sales –if stacked horizontally- would link Illinois to Ipswich, with enough left over to reach the Jupiter moon of Io. His feet moved with the liquid beauty of Robert Patrick in Terminator 2 and his songs? Well, they were off the wall.

Note the tense. Was, moved, were. Not is, move and are. It does remain to be seen if he can still move with the satin soles of yesteryear but one thing is for sure, his songs over the past 15 years have been as good as he looks black. But the mania remains. People have been queuing for days to get their tickets to the freak show and this puzzles me. We must assume that to afford these tickets then these happy campers have jobs. In a time when two million Brits are unemployed and currently scratching their arses deciding whether to watch Loose women or not, here we have people at worst bunking off work just to get involved.

So that puzzles me, he is a man trading on past glories and has not offered anything artistically that remotely approaches the benchmark reserved for ‘average’ since R Kelly gave him the I believe I can fly re-hash that is ‘you are not alone’ (sing one chorus in your head, then the other, seamless is it not?), that I can handle. What is too much is this; he is a paedophile.

Yes. And before you say it; yes he is. If OJ can be innocent of murder then MJ can be guilty of child bum love. I’m not going to give an appraisal of the several cases brought before the courts because it doesn’t matter that much, everyone has already made up their minds regarding Jacksons innocence and nothing I say is going to change peoples minds, just like mine is not going to be swayed from anything but guilty to literal buggery, despite his supporters painting him as a hunted man, albeit with various psychological foibles. But one thing is undeniably true; he has paid for the silence of children, and that is not the action of an innocent man.

Jackson is performing at the O2 in order to raise funds and this is where my issue comes into play. He is broke partially because of such silence deals with children, in my mind it follows on that the people who are now selling their own grandparents for tickets are retrospectively sponsoring child rape. But this is just my opinion, in a way that’s the point. You can’t fail not to have an opinion on the man; he is music’s Cristiano Ronaldo, if Ronaldo was an alleged rapist. Ah, we can but dream…

And speaking of rape, two stories last week really caught my attention, the black cab rapist and the ideologically challenged concept of ‘corrective rape’.

That’s right, ‘Corrective rape’. It is the new shock therapy currently being tested in S Africa as groups of men save women from the scourge of lesbianism, curing their fear of heterosexual hanky panky using the medium of gang rape. I can only assume this is from the Victorian school of medicinal thought, where it was believed that the cure for a woman’s hysteria was a strategically placed dildo. Only 35 cases have been reported, but in a country where 9 out of 10 rapes go unreported then roughly 300 lesbians have been ‘corrected’. What has not been reported is the level of homosexual rape correction. As someone who believes in equal rights, I can only hope Gay men are not being refused the hope of being cured.

The tabloid friendly titled black cab rapist is an interesting case, if only for the fact that the Police have managed to balls the case up so much, they have handed themselves into the IPCC. After arresting John Warboys in 2007 over a sexual assault (where CCTV footage was found of Warboys carrying a comatose woman out of his cab), he was released and subsequently attacked more women than the police have Muslims. One of the victims has to be applauded for waiving her right to anonymity and speaking out about her ordeal. The woman in question was offered a drink by Warboys, with him claiming he had won the lottery and wanted to celebrate (some would have taken the evening off but I digress). She turned the drink down, but when offered again, along with a free taxi ride home AND £50 she decided to accept the deal. The drink was unsurprisingly spiked, leading to her attack.

I would never advocate rape or any other assault, but neither can I advocate stupidity. It really is that simple, anyone offering such high rewards for something so trivial will have an ulterior motive. It’s how you become a millionaire just by posting envelopes and why you have to ring 0898 numbers to find out more about the get rich quick scheme that’s guaranteed to work.

That’s enough of that, I’m off to camp down by the O2 centre.