So, I was going to write about the stag weekend I was recently on (congratulations to the Fatman and Vic, but more importantly, well done the stag crew for making it a VERY MESSY weekend) but then I realised that the most juicy nuggets were quite obviously unprintable. What I will list however is a set of rules I stumbled across in Dublin for the weekend that sealed my livers fate.
• When going on a stag to Dublin, whatever money you are taking will never be enough, so don’t worry about it.
• It may be worth looking into Car Hire Dublin Airport, you may be able to save money on the taxi fares to and from town, especially if you’re in a large group. It saves being diddled by the unkind Shylocks of the Dublin taxi world.
• If you are going on a stag, it may be an idea not to write offensive slogans all over the T shirts you are all wearing. People give you strange looks when the front of your T shirt has a crudely drawn penis near the neckline.
• Make sure the airline has enough beer on the flight to last more than ONE measly round.
• Don’t get thrown out of the oldest pub in Ireland for singing, at half six on a Friday evening. Up for the Craic my knob.
• When visiting the obligatory Indian restaurant for the pre pub crawl meal, ensure they are not Islamic and thus, will serve alcohol.
• Drinking games need simple rules, otherwise men invariably known as Woody get confused, drunk and abused.
• Don’t give doormen lip after sneaking a pint out into the street, even if you’re technically right to have a go because said doorman has no identification besides a Guinness fleece.
• Last, and certainly no means least, on no accounts should you ever go into a lap dancing bar sober, for some reason you can’t objectify the women the way the situation demands it.
These are simple rules that if followed, will ensure you have a most awesomest time while celebrating the ball and chain that is about to be attached to your friends ankle.
Did I say ankle? I meant penis.